In intermediate, my mum was worried cause I was going out a lot and I'd lie about where I am and stuff. I think that’s how it all started. Especially like at 13, you know, not coming home until like late at night. My mum, she'd cry all the time but that's only because when I was little we were so close, you know?
When we would wag our parents would be notified but I didn’t care. Because I know my parents won't do anything to us, just a growling. I’d just think, ‘Oh, my parents are just like being dramatic about it’. They're not like the typical Tongans, that are hard out into the cultural thing. So I knew my parents weren’t going to like beat me or something. They would just give me a talk. They would take my phone away but that was fine. I could live without my phone. I wasn't really into boys until like later on but I think my mum thought I was already onto that stage. She would always ask me if I had a boyfriend and stuff.
I wanted to show my parents that they have to let me like learn from my mistakes and stuff. But my parents, they’re just not like that.
We were both 15. I wasn’t ashamed. I did feel bad like, ‘Oh, I’m pregnant at 15’, and all that stuff but I thought it was like a way of me getting my life sorted. I wasn’t a bad girl. I just did stupid stuff. Like I’d just do whatever I want and having a child was the only way for me to grow up and stuff.
The only reason I wasn’t excited was cause everyone was telling me to abort it. My dad was the last person I told and he was the only one to tell me to keep it, so I did. I think my mum didn’t want me to struggle, to leave school and look after a child at this age. She just wanted me to grow up first. My mum still sees me as a kid. Like even today when I have a kid.
My mum tells me every day you have to struggle. Like she always tells me I have to trust my struggle. I never understood it when I was little. I didn’t even think it made sense but I get it now. You just gotta hang in there and keep going and things will get there.